// rules //
1 // write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2 // link back to her and invite others to join in.
3 // And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.
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I've been pretty unforgiving of myself for as long as I can remember. I know I'm not alone in this, either, for cliches are cliches for a reason.
"We are our own worst critics."
This week was quite a doozy. I was stressed, tired, busy, and just plain old worn out. I was cranky and irritable, and not my best self.
Normally, I can cope with stress. Normally, I will pray, and exercise, and write, and read, and eat chocolate ... any of which are fantastic ways to cope with stress. This week, I tried. I really, really did, but the stress monster gobbled me up whole.
The thing is, no external thing was causing my stress. It was this internal war going on in my mind. Self-doubt. Insecurity. Sadness. Inferiority.
And then the dirty D-word: depression.
But I'm here. I made it through. There were even great things that happened this week, which I know and recognize. Not all is lost, and things really are not that bad, no matter how I feel sometimes.
Emotions are frustrating. Emotions are real, but they cannot always be trusted, because they are also fickle. It seems like every time I get caught up in this spiral of thoughts, I re-learn that most basic lesson. Yes, depression is different. Very. But depression cannot be trusted, either, and is even more of a liar than emotions are.
I don't have a wild epiphany or anything, I just know that I need to cut myself some slack. I cut other people slack, why not me, too?
I need to show myself a little mercy.
// stop //